What Flowers Are Appropriate for Jewish Families?
When someone passes away in a Jewish family, many people are unsure whether sending flowers is appropriate. Unlike some other traditions, flowers are not always customary in Jewish mourning practices, and preferences can vary by family and denomination.
This guide explains when flowers may or may not be appropriate, what is traditionally preferred instead, and how to express sympathy respectfully.
Jewish Funeral and Mourning Traditions
In traditional Jewish practice, the focus of mourning is placed on:
Honoring the deceased through remembrance
Supporting the living through presence and care
Avoiding excess or display during times of grief
Because of this, flowers have not historically played a central role in Jewish funerals or mourning rituals. Instead, emphasis is placed on acts of kindness and community support.
Are Flowers Appropriate for Jewish Funerals?
In many Jewish families flowers are not customary at the funeral or during shiva. However, flowers may be welcomed by certain Reform or secular families. In this case, simple, understated arrangements are appropriate but when in doubt consult with a family member or consider a charitable donation instead.
What Is Traditionally Sent Instead of Flowers?
Common alternatives to flowers include:
Memorial Donations
Many Jewish families request donations to a charity meaningful to the deceased, a synagogue or community organization or a cause the person supported during their life
Food and Acts of Support
During shiva (the mourning period following burial), families are often supported through prepared meals and food deliveries.
These gestures are deeply rooted in Jewish mourning customs and are often more meaningful than flowers.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
Can Flowers Ever Be Sent to Jewish Families?
Yes, in some situations such as:
If the family has indicated flowers are welcome
If the service is being held in a funeral home rather than a synagogue
If the family is secular or Reform and comfortable with flowers
If you choose to send flowers, we can help guide you through appropriate choices. As a general rule, arrangements to send are simple and understated.
What About Sympathy Flowers After the Funeral?
Sending flowers to the home during shiva is not traditional. Instead consider a sympathy card, a donation made in the deceased name or a note offering support or assistance.
Are flowers forbidden at Jewish funerals?
No. They are not forbidden, but they are not traditional and are often avoided.
Should I send flowers if I’m unsure?
If you are unsure, it is better to choose an alternative, such as a donation or condolence card.
Can I ask the family what they prefer?
Yes. Asking respectfully is always appropriate.
Are wreaths or crosses appropriate?
No. Religious floral symbols such as crosses are not appropriate for Jewish services.
